16. A birthday, but no pity party this time

This year, my birthday morning felt like one of the calmest I’ve ever had.

While I genuinely love getting older, the actual day of my birthday has often felt a little tender. In the past, it’s brought up tears and moments of self-loathing. Not because of age itself, but because of the stories I’d tell myself about who I wasn’t or what I hadn’t achieved.

Birthdays have a way of shining a spotlight on the things we think we’re missing.

When I was younger, I often felt alone on my birthday. I carried expectations of how it should look or feel. And in more recent years, especially through my late 30s, I’d find myself quietly sad that I wasn’t on an extravagant holiday or being showered with beautiful gifts from my husband.

We’re not really the kind of couple that show our love in gifts, even if we did have a lot of money. And honestly, those sadnesses feel a bit silly now. But at the time, they were very real. They came from a place of longing, of looking outside myself for validation.

And while I’m definitely not immune to the comparison trap, something has shifted this past year. I’ve moved further away from it; gently, but intentionally, as I continue to deepen my self-care and reconnect with my creativity.

This year, it felt almost effortless to focus on what I do have. On who I am. On how I’m finally starting to feel like I’ve found my place in the world.

Instead of a pity party, I FaceTimed with my bestie. I meditated. I drank many pots of tea (Earl Grey with Bonsoy - always and forever). I worked from home. I received sweet texts and phone calls from the people I love. And I got a sleepy hug from my husband before he left for work at 5:30am (!!).

We’re still getting back on our feet after a rough couple of years, so there weren’t extravagant gifts or fancy getaways - but honestly, I didn’t miss them.

As I gently step into another year gifted to me, I feel calm. Happy. Content.

I still have dreams. I still set goals. But with this new softness and steadiness, I feel like I’m finally in a place where those dreams might actually take root and grow.

Birthdays (or any milestone) can stir up a mix of emotions. Sometimes they shine a light on how far we’ve come, and other times they whisper reminders of what we’re still reaching for. Both are valid. Both are part of being human.

Wherever you are on your journey, may you find a moment today to honour what is: the small joys, the quiet growth and the ways you continue to show up for yourself.

Libby x